We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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