Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Michael Bay diarrhea
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
