I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
