You work out of a Hotel?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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