so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
