Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
