my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
babies were throwing up all over the place
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
