Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
it's great music for shaving your balls
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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