She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
