Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
