why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
this just has baby written all over it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
