and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
