Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
