I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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