Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
