Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
