Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
