Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
