I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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