I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
