You can't special order awesome
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
