whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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