I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
