if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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