is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Naked. naked and bneed help.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
