bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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