batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
only if we run a train.
done.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
