i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
