hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
