if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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