He uses pillows to masturbate.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize