I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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