i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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