still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
