This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
