nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
