We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
