Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
