You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
