Pants 0. Shit 1.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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