You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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