Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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