I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
