Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
