i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
