yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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