Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
