whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
