Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
