please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize