I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
