I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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